which then led to my performance piece at Island Vibe (something I’d like to keep performing elsewhere too):

I am a relative newcomer to performance art - while I have volunteered and participated in creative productions for many years, I’ve only begun to delve deeply into performing this year. I’m part of Vulcana’s Circus Artsworkers Trainee program this year and have also been training & performing with Scoundrelles burlesque and Edge Improv. I played the role of “The Woman who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy” in Brisbane’s Vagina Monologues in February, and recently came in 3rd in the New Talent category at Cabaret Burlesque in the Fringe Bar in June. 

I come from a multicultural background - I am originally from Malaysia, of Bangladeshi parentage, and have grown up amongst people of various cultures and backgrounds. I’ve often been interested and passionate about how people from minority cultures fare within the arts. Do they get fair representation? How much of their culture can they show without being exoticified? Why is cultural-based theatre only considered “innovative” if it’s done by a White person? What role does power, privilege, and stereotypes play in theatre and performance? 

Recent incidences have shown me that there is a sheer lack of understanding amongst Brisbane performers about their privilege and the danger of cultural appropriation. No one really wants to be told they’re being racist, but people need to be educated about the potential problems of taking cultural artifacts from elsewhere without due respect and process - especially when the people of that original culture do not have enough opportunities to express it themselves. As a minority I sometimes feel that the only way I’ll be taken seriously with performance is either if I become super-exotic or severely conform to conventional style and thought. I grapple with which bits of culture I can safely appropriate and incorporate, with who I represent, with how I am considered by others. 

I would like to create a performance that tackles these issues - of conventional body image standards (even amongst subcultures like burlesque and circus which are supposedly more openminded), of appropriating other cultures, of inclusion and exclusion of people from different backgrounds. It would be in equal parts humourous, angry, sad, and resolute: mocking stereotypes, rage at being excluded and disrespected just because we’re different, heartbreak at failed attempts to reach out and create understanding, defiant and determined to make a stand and speak up for myself. I’m particularly interested in appropriation and stereotyping through costuming and body image: I recently wrote a blog post about how I didn’t really connect to the standard burlesque photos of tightlacing corsets or vintage 50s, and wanted to see more variety, but I got a lot of backlash on how I should “expand my horizons” and that if I wasn’t happy with the subcultural norms I “shouldn’t get involved”. I also recently contributed an essay on cultural appropriation in burlesque, which earned many responses from culturally diverse performers & enthusiasts with the same concerns, but when I brought up some problematic photos with my burlesque mentor (about cultural stereotypes) I got lashed backs with claims of being “extreme” and “victimising”. 

According to the Vulcana Update, Aperture is about shedding light on hidden spaces - which includes the dark and shadow sides that hardly anyone wants to confront. I’m tired of feeling afraid of speaking out because I’m different and don’t quite belong. I want to make it clear that we all have a right to speech and representation, regardless of background, and more importantly we have the right to respect. Disagreements are fine - even people of the same culture don’t agree on whether something’s offensive or not - but it’s utterly counterproductive to keep these issues hidden in the dark. The picture might be ugly, but without it we can’t make beautiful art. 

I am currently overseas on family matters and will be back in Brisbane on the 8th of August. I am happy to start immediately. I would like to work with directors that are sensitive to cultural diversity and issues of appropriation, and will be able to handle this project with respect and care. If there’s anything else we can do to get this project going, please let me know - I really would like this to go ahead and I feel it’s about time this is properly brought up, even if it makes others uncomfortable.

Celia and Penny, our directors, told me that they picked me despite my relative inexperience because they felt that I had strong interesting ideas and they wanted to see where they could go with this. It was a long, hard, sometimes frustrating process (be pouty! no, angry! no, teasing! no, angry again! argh, stop changing!!) but we got there and I think we did a pretty good job.

I’m so grateful that I was given the chance to explore this topic, to work with fantastic creative minds, to be able to express myself in ways that were true for me. I totally didn’t expect to get picked at all. It’s a dream come true.